My 5 Ring Circus

...but is it really?  Is knowledge really power?  I am from the east coast, born and raised.  Until last summer, I had never lived anywhere but in Virginia.  Now I live in the Midwest, in Tornado Alley.  I have a phobia of tornadoes, a REALLY BIG phobia of tornadoes, so why oh why did I move to the Midwest?  I didn't know, I truly did not know what exactly Tornado Alley meant, I did not know that I would actually experience a tornado and not even one, but four in 72 hours!  I never expected to hear the sirens even once, instead I heard them six times in 72 hours.  You probably don't believe me.  Just last night I heard, "Well you did move to Tornado Alley."  Yes, I did, and wow do I feel dumb right about now!  And angry and scared.  Not only did I move to Tornado Alley, but I moved into a house without an underground basement, that tells you right there that I really did not understand what I was getting myself i...

I stepped on the scale this morning after another day of eating right and exercising and I swear I heard a chuckle as the scale revealed my weight, +.6 lbs!  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  Now I know I am 9 weeks postpartum, but I have not lost anything in the past 7 weeks!  WTF?  I dropped 24 lbs fast and then it just stopped so here I sit, obese.  No, I'm not exaggerating, I calculated my BMI yesterday and it said OBESE!  I'm pretty sure my computer was laughing at me as well.  I still have 15 lbs to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, which was already overweight thanks to 15 lbs gained after a miscarriage in April 2010, so 30 lbs to get to my pre-pre-pregnancy weight.  What I can't figure out is how I gain 15 lbs the split second I find out I'm pregnant.  No joke, I miscarried at 5.5 weeks, so a week and a half after I found out I was pregnant and I gained 15 lbs.  When I got pregnant with Gia, I gained 15 lbs befo...

Now to finish my first post.  Forgive me if this lacks coherency, it is not quite 6am and the family has been up since 3am, both kiddos were having trouble sleeping. Here's the background, if you already know this part or simply don't care, then skip to the next paragraph!  All I ever wanted was to be a stay-at-home mom, however, I never thought that would happen, it was simply a fantasy.  So the hubs and I found out we were pregnant the day after our first anniversary.  At the time I was the bread winner in the house, Dex was going to school and working part time, so the plan was to put Sage in daycare and I would continue working.  I had accepted my fate as a working mom, we needed the money, Dex certainly wasn't making enough money working part-time and would almost certainly not make enough starting out with his associates in networking, so there was no chance of me quitting my job to stay home with the baby.  Then I got laid off at 9 months...

I feel I should finish my post from yesterday because it is missing something...a point! Ha! :)  However, I have something else I want to talk about today, so yesterday's post will have to wait. Mommy ADD.  I am 8 weeks postpartum, baby Gia (Georgia) was born on Saint Patty's day, and I don't think I have ever felt so scatter brained in my life.  Gia is my second child, and I remember "mommy brain" after having Sage, but this is new.  Mommy brain is the remnants of pregnancy brain, mommy brain makes women forget things easily, make silly mistakes, etc., but Mommy ADD is different.  I swear I cannot stay focused on anything for any period of time, my brain is all over the place and my train of thought is quite fascinating to me these days.  Maybe it's lack of sleep, or maybe it's the fact that I have a 2 year old and an 8 week old, so somebody always needs something taking my focus away from whatever task is interrupted. In the past I dated two guys wit...

So all I ever really wanted was to be a mom, well, that's not quite true, but close enough.  By mom, I mean stay-at-home mom, June Cleaver style, but alas, this is not 1950, women have won the right to be...men.  Yep, I said it, women's lib, thank you, you thrust the dagger deep into the heart of chilvary and the honor that came with simply being a mom.  Yes I went to college, yes I got a good education, yes I am capable of a successful career outside of the home.  I did have a career, a good one, I made good money, had a nice new car, bought my own home, had a dog (well, 3 actually), but all I wanted was to be a mom...to raise my own children.  Don't flame me for that, I know women who work outside of the home loathe that notion, but that is how I see it in regards to my life and my children and that is all I can speak to, I am not you, I do not judge, I simply know what is right for me in my heart and my mind.  I do not want someone else with my children ...